I was born in the summer of 1984, on the East side of Kansas City MO. I still live here, all these many years later – in all my travels and wanderings, I have found no place like home.
My childhood and my upbringing was pretty normal for my generation. I survived the multiple humiliations of puberty and public school and remained relatively sane. I was – and still am – somewhat introverted, prone to solitude and contemplation.
I have always been curious, dangerously so. I am always asking questions, and ignoring the answers I am given. I can take no advice, no matter how wise or well-meaning – I have an insatiable desire to know and experience things firsthand.
In my late teens I began my love affair with marijuana, psychedelics and altered states of consciousness… I was changed forever. When used rightly, these substances open the door to the Divine; to the cosmic beauty, paradox and humor inherent in the universe. The psychedelic experience opened my mind to poetry, art, music, mysticism, and to the mysteries of human consciousness.
I was 19 years old when my son was born – an experience that transformed me yet again. The first time I held my baby boy in my arms and looked into his eyes, so clear and sparkling with innocence and intelligence, I was reborn. My journey as his father continues to teach me and transform me, and open my heart to the endless mysteries of unconditional Love.
For several years I was on the the Path, seeking God. I have studied the religions of the world and devoted myself to the way of mysticism and the practice of meditation.
Somewhere along the way, the searching ended. I realized what I was searching for was the Truth of my own being; the radiant, loving and formless Presence of pure awareness. I felt it. Tasted it. Damn near drowned in it… but not quite.
I continue to dive deeper and deeper into that mystery, and am gradually losing my self entirely in the infinite expanse of love and light and beauty that is, was, and ever shall be.
But for the moment at least, I am caught in the awkward predicament of being Tao, and somehow still being Ben. My life is the dance between the two.