Thoughts (on Infinity)

Stepping outside for a smoke today, I settled into my old camp chair and was soon overcome by a state of deep reverie. I had just finished watching a YouTube video on string theory and the multiple dimensions of reality. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts wander…

I tried to imagine an intelligence that could encompass this vastness – from the non-existent point of no dimension whatsoever, to the infinite possibilities of all the infinite possible universes of infinite expanse and duration…

That intelligence – however inconceivable – must be with me right now.

That Presence is looking through my eyes, seeing what I see, thinking what I think, feeling what I feel; experiencing this moment through my mind and body, while simultaneously experiencing this moment from every possible point of view throughout the infinite expanse of this entire universe; while simultaneously experiencing every moment of the past and future; and experiencing an infinite variety of possible universes, and every moment of their existence from every possible point of view…

What am I in all this vastness? An idea, a possibility to be explored? A fleeting thought, here and then gone? Do I even exist at all?

I opened my eyes then, and saw a beautiful little squirrel just a few paces away, it’s round little eyes looking straight at me (or maybe through me…).

For a few moments I froze… cigarette inches from my lips, smoke curling around my fingers and spinning through the air in playful spirals, like translucent little galaxies. I thought that perhaps any movement would startle the little fellow, and send him running.

Then it hit me – frightened of whom?

Looking into his eyes, clear and bright and clever, I saw that loving Presence looking back at me, the universal intelligence that is the true Self of us both. There is nothing separate or apart, no one here for him to fear. Whatever it is that I am is a part of the present moment, a part of the squirrel – a part of Nature herself.

What followed was a state of calm which no words can adequately describe – no thought, no mind. I relaxed; I took another drag. The squirrel continued to watch me for a little while, unperturbed, and then proceeded to dig through the fallen leaves in search of food.

I watched him work with uncanny speed and agility, and felt such a profound feeling of oneness that I could almost see through his eyes and feel the damp earth beneath his paws. I felt as though on the brink of dissolving completely into that awareness that is eternal and ever present…

Soon the little fellow’s search paid off. He brought forth from the foliage the nut he was seeking, and after gripping it firmly in his teeth he scurried up the nearest tree and out of sight. I sat there for a few minutes more, just soaking in the serenity of my surroundings…

Gradually that magic feeling faded, and I was left to contemplate the mystery of all-in-all. How does the infinite exist within the finite, and seem to be contained therein – ignorant of its absolute wholeness and unbounded freedom?

In my mind I am constantly dancing with the infinite. One moment I seem to be this separate self, a separate will; the next moment I am nothing but another wave in the cosmic ocean, flowing wherever the current carries me…

Alone again, cigarette gone, it’s time to go inside. And the dance goes on.

~ Ben

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6 thoughts on “Thoughts (on Infinity)

  1. Loved this….so very thoughtful and reflective….you think in a similar fashion as me, a broad mind with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and new experiences. And, yea, when you are in the spiritual substance that strongly, you do feel like you are coming off of a ride, or even have another part of yourself there somewhere….how I would love to be in that person in me more, if not always. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
    love and light
    Celeste

  2. So familiar with your words ; it is a joy to feel such a connection.
    A very inspiring blog , Ben.
    I will be back for more! 🙂
    Best wishes
    ~angie

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